sorry late update

Well surgeon said he want me to get AV therapy first and whenever I get handle on speaking and listening skill he will do the other ear. Thats was it. Lol oh well.

Bilateral?

Well I've given this a LOT of an thoughts... heres my list of Pros and Cons. My appointment with surgeon to discuss about going bilateral is on July 9th 4:15 ET.

PROS
* Same design as other implant.
* Work together and sound same.
* SAFE!!!
* Good chance of right ear (dominant ear) doing a LOT better than left ear.
* Music MIGHT sound better.
* Easier time localizing where sound's coming from. (I do so poorly at that LOL)
* Been around for 20 years.
* Do better at listening in noisy evironment.
* Higher score in Speech Discrimination test.
* Extra ear!
* Feeling of balance and full sound experience.
* Low failure rate with freedom implant.
* Familiar design and device.
* Possibility of right ear can tolerate more decibels gain so it have lower decibels in audiogram than my left ear. (lower than 30 db)
* Upgradeable.
* very effective.
* If right ear did become dominant again, it could be good thing. (Doing better job at listening)
* Give my right ear a chance to become useful again.

CONS
* Miss out future new design, technology, stem cells, whatever crazy medical stuff for deafness.
* Possibility of losing the music appreciation for heavy metal and rock.
* Killing the residual hearing.
* Surgery risks.
* Achy incision for long while.
* Possibility of it overpowering my left ear and uses right ear as 'main ear'.
* Wearing heavy processor on both ears.


I'm thinking, since the design of the CI I have now is proved to be safe and effective, I'd rather to have safest technolgy that is very effective over the new fancy technology or medical stuff in the future that will improve hearing, more natural sounds and more depth in hearing.... I'm DEAF! I wouldn't know what is natural as long its clear and understandable I'd think thats natural and normal for me. I Just dont want to have all those scary unknown and unnecessary risks involved with brand new CI design, Its like throwing yourself in the unknown with potential of having all those risks like eyes twitches, overstimulation, failure, ribbon style could accidently slice the cochlea wall? just everything too new and risky in future with no long term study on it or anything. So I'm thinking let get what is available now since its safe plus its upgradeable. so what you think?

Oh hmph...

I decided to put CI back on and put it on 2 for volume and sensitivity yesterday so far no pain or any problems only slight discomfort on incision from the weight of processor thats all so I increased to 5 for both, so far, so good. Look like I only needed an break thats all. I still need new mapping some part of speech sound muffled and I cant hear fire alarm again. so I'll call to makes mapping appointment.
thanks for sending good thoughts for me :-)

Bad News

I haven't update anything since mainly because I was stuck. I didn't experience new sounds, heard people talking behind back or any of miraculous CI moments for a month and half now, and last 2 weeks I haven't wore my CI processor because I'm experiencing sharp pin-prickling sensation inside head if I hear certain sound like heavy metal, long exposure to loud noise, or whatever and few days later the sensitivity seem to increased so even on volume and sensitivity set on 2 it still hurt inside my ear and almost every night when I take CI off on day I wore them when I'm sensitive to sounds I get this headache-like pain located only left side of my head (implanted side) and during those 2 weeks break I get mild aching pain on the incision part that extend over the ear and the magnet spot.

Its extremely frustrating with all those discomfort I've been experiencing I don't know whats going on and on the top of them all my low score on listening test I posted while ago start to take toll on me I'm feeling depressed, stupid and wondering whats wrong with me, why isn't my score as high as all other bloggers I read about having high score on it after 3 months and everything, it just sucks. My surgeon isn't answering my emails, my audiologist took a week to reply and said she want to try put in new mapping in and see if it helps but she don't know about the pain so I'm waiting on surgeon's response in emails. UGH!

I hope it go away and get fixed soon so I can hear again, I dont want to miss the crickets sound everyone heard with CI out, and the fireworks, ocean waves crashing, seagulls, all summer sounds....

My 3 month Result!

Today Result
Word test NO lipreading= 20%

Sentence Test NO lipreading= 4%

Sentence test with lipreading= 79%

Before CI Result
Word test NO lipreading= 0%

Sentence test NO lipreading= 0%

Sentence test with lipreading= 42%


Hello everyone!
I got my 3 months post-activation test result from today on here.
See the blue line its shaped like an table so i got most of it on 30 decibel (yay passed my goal) and only 0-250 and 6000+ is on 40. I got most of the speech banana now whoo-hoo.
Also you notice that my score wasn't high but to me its something! Little improvement is better than none at all! Also my excuse for this score being low is that from losing my CI i had to use my back-up Mini BTE and it doesn't have accessory jack so I Couldn't do any of the rehab material like book on tape to practice listening. But now I got my new CI Processor today and its regular size so now i can use the jack to get back on rehabbing lol.

Skullchick's World

I want to Introduce my brand new blog called Skullchick's World from now and on when i update on anything that dont have to do with cochlear implant will go on there. So add this to your blog rolls.

http://skullchickworld.blogspot.com/

Vlog about CI and deaf community

I apologize if the cationing is bit fast I tried to keep up with the speed lol (I used my camera video instead of webcam, it took sooooo long to upload and its hard to caption so I am sticking to webcam from now and on lol)

Vlog number 2

Its about I quit my job last week

My First Vlog!

Im so sorry I couldnt figure out how to put html code on the blog to show you the vlog grrr but heres the link you can click to go and watch my vlog its 7 minutes long so cook some popcorn and enjoy watching my vlog! its captioned for people thats sign-impaired :-)

CI's offically an success!

I went to crowded bar last night for St. Patrick's Day. At first I was little bit overwhelmed by all noise, music and other people talking loudly I switched to Focused Listening but it didnt work well enough for my preference so I switched to Noise one and I can hear other people talking to me if I try hard enough and I'll understand some by listening and lipreading some as well and I didnt notice till next day that I actually had fun! For first time ever I had fun in hearing event in last almost 4 years now. because before CI I would sit and look down or play with my Sidekick instead of socializing because I was so afraid to ever had any chance of people trying to talk to me because I cant read lips without sound. So I was always extremely bored and feel left out and isolated, and depressed. For some of you loyal reader, you remember how I want CI to get my social life back... Well apparently its BACK! So its an success story! YAY!!!
Now I can't wait to go to other social events!

My Hair

heres my picture of Shaved hair, it been only 2 months. I know it look like its short and sparse, I have fine hair but the length is about an inch long now!

I got Real programs!

My appointment for mapping was couple days ago on the 11th of march, She got rid of raspy program one YAY and tweaked other one and lower volume and now its much much better!!!
Program 1 is plain program for everyday uses.
Program 2 is Noise, for any noisy evironment(ADRO).
Program 3 is Focused Listening, it cancvel out all background noise and only hear sound in front of me (BEAM).
Program 4 is School, its for any building that produce echo like school, cafeteria, mall, gym and etc.

There is couple more unfortunately I only remember Quiet program (whisper).
Coming soon is Music Appreciation Program! Its currently in study/experimental period.

I tried out audiobook, first chapter of Bridge to Terabithia Its surprisely easy with book in front of me! Not much else to update, sorry haha.

I sound like a guy!

I hated my new mapping, program 2 sound so raspy and my voice sound like a guy! Yuck! And program 1 was way too loud! so it was bad mapping ugh cant wait for other one on the 11th to change it!! Lol

Not much else to update I got bridge to teribithia audiobook and lemony snicket series I forgot which one lol but I lost my debit card! so next week when I get new card i'll buy cd player to start practicing listening :-)

That's all folk!

Over and out.

Sorry! Late Update!

*Yesterday I went to Washington DC with my fiance Jason to visit my friend Brady at Galladuet. Anyways we were walking around and when I heard soft sound and I stopped and looked puzzled and asked Jason "what am I hearing?" He replied "Birds" WOW awesome! lol I stopped there and listen to it some more I loved it! and when we walked to reflecting pool there was duck and seagulls in water so I heard quacking and cawing and I have to tell you duck sound soooo funny!!! I laughed everytime they quack haha. And when walking on way to the car and i heard sound and I said "what was that?" he said "train far behind you" I looked behind and wow it look like half mile away!

* Last friday Jason's mother invited Jason's sister Marian and her kids Maggie, 3 and Boe 8 months old. we all were chatting I just sit there quietly listening to them and only caught one word here and there lol they talk so fast! so Jason decided to stop them and asked them to say one word a time to me and they take turn and I got most right! yay! lol and Jason's stepdad Bill tickled Maggie to get her to laugh and Boe too their laugh is so cute and high pitched haha. and When Maggie attempted to talk to me to see if I really can hear her now with my CI and she took long time to want to test it out and see if its true haha she said "picture" and I smiled and she smiled too and say few other word like "gramma" "pop-pop" (naming people in the table lol) it was cute cuz her voice is soooo tiny of course because shes small but its funny to hear the 'smallness' of voice.

* Last thursday, I finally can hear fire alarm!!! I couldn't hear it at all with few programs I had from activation and 1st mapping I was little upset and worried cuz it was reason I got CI is to be able to hear important sound like fire alarm, emergency vehicle siren, baby/child crying, etc And after 2nd mapping with 2 program with all 22 electrodes turned on and my fiance burned something when cooking set alarm off while I was cleaning off table I heard it and I turned to see what it was and jason smiled and said "can you hear it now?" I couldn't stop smiling for like 15 min enjoying the fire alarm sound till they turn it off lol because it was first thing I tried to hear when I discovered that I'm really profoundly deaf and couldn't hear for first 2 week and now I FINALLY CAN!And same day there was big car accident in hwy I can hear cop, fire truck and ambulance sirens before coming in sight!

* I got CI moment last wednesday. It was my 2nd mapping appt. When we were done with mapping both program, we were just talking and she decided to stop signing and kept talking and it was totally unexpected but I actually understood about 85-90% of what she was saying!!!!!! WOW! I almost started to cry in middle of her talking to me (with lipreading and listening same time but to me that's GREAT and my breakthrough moment because whole my life its always fuzzy and only caught half of what person's saying and today WOW!! I'm over the moon right now I never thought I would be able to do that till like 6-12 months later but NOPE yay!!!

New Mapping Update!

Today I got new mapping for both my program, my program have 3 electrodes still turned off but my program 2 have all 22 turned on and both have new loudness and softness level. Its really different now. But so much better, with program 2 I can hear jason deep voice "rumble" its hard to describe but I finally hear it cuz thats his true voice I was so excited! haha

I got CI moment today also, I was at dining room looking out the back door because its snowing outside (isnt it soooo strange??? I got snow when I got out of surgery, I got snow when I got out activation and I got snow when I was done with 2nd mapping appointment!!) anyways I was there and I heard sound and I was thinking maybe its from my cat meowing, heard it again I was like "no, its from there where my fiance is" and 3rd time around I was positive jason's calling my name in laundry room, we're talking about 30 feet in different room! WOW! I went in to look at jason and he said 'good! You heard me!" Yay! lol

Sound List

well I know this is long overdue but here is my sound list that I heard thats new or something I noticed and wrote down on my sidekick notes, theres million other noise but I dont think its important enough to put it down like general noise you know? Anyways here it is.

New/Noticed Sounds
* stomach growling
* stair creaking
* sizzling
* crunch when eating
* scissor clicking
* last 2 string of the guitar plucked
* brushing my hair
* hand rub together
* fire alarm low on battery warning beep
* spongebob squarepant theme song
* music in between scenes
* smacking my lips
* clock ticking
* sidekick keyboard
* computer keyboard
* AC Vent buzzing
* cat clawing the stratch post
* rain
* cell phone ringing
* aquarium filter sound
* sigh
* meowing
* purring (my favorite!)
* chopping veggies
* other person breathing when hugging
* door squeaking
* clothes rubbing against chair
* sniffling
* yawning

Annoying/Horrible sound
* toilet flushing (the WORST!)
* faucet
* clock ticking
* AC vent
* food court of the mall (LOUD)
* people talking so loud
* loud music
* rap music
* paper rustling
* aluminum foil
* aquarium when low on water (filter makes so much racket)
* gun firing sound in video games

Favorite Sound
* cat purring
* techno beat
* cat meowing
* rain
* my fiance saying 'I love you"
* movie sound effects

I'm Engaged!

Guess what everyone???? My longtime boyfriend of 17 months Jason asked me to marry him! Best Valentine's day ever! No plan or detail yet I'm only engaged for 1 day! Ha ha I'm so happy!!!

Picture of my CI!

Activation!

Sorry for the late update my internet wasnt working right last night.
Anyways heres the update, my activation was interesting lol.
first we did beep for program 1 we used number 2 magnet. I cant describe it all but it was interesting, my activation video will say it all. then between break we went out making racket in building lmao. then went back in to makes program 2 beep test. when they turn into live voice OH MY GOD loud buzz it was unbearable at first and I was totally shocked lol. my bf's mom start crying lol aww, and i heard voices and i can pick up some speech right away my audiologist was surprised. And I can say speech sound soooooooooo much better than hearing aid already and I'm only on crude map! and the sound didnt sound robotic or beepy at all it sound sort of like hearing aid but sooo much higher pitched and some tone thats so high that it sound like feedback like my laughter it sound like feedback at first little while then now it sound little less like feedback lol.
look like im already on good start! cant wait to see how much i accomplished after 1 year!

by the way the video wont be on here for while, dont have right software for video and dont have DV cord either and also im totally clueless with this thing haha and also the subtitling the video will be long hard process it got bunch of voices and sign in the mix and its really long and some clip in video blocked the sign and all complicated stuff lol sorry! please be patient it'll be worth it and its really different than all other activation video too!

I heard so much stuff i can't list it all.
but my favorite CI moment so far is I heard spongebob squarepant theme song so super clearly haha i even sang along with it and cc wasnt working right so its amazing! lol
hmm not sure what else to add yet.... i'll update more when i find something to update more about LOL

My Desired Result

I was bored one night so I made this audiogram to let everyone know what my audiogram look like and what I am hoping for. Also if the result of my CI didn't get to my desired result line (pink line) I'm fine with it as long I can hear most speech sound and try to lipread the sound I couldn't hear

Post-Op pictures

today was my post-op appt the surgeon ripped the tapes off fast but painful ouch! so heres my incision without tapes on.

Ahhhhh..............

*sigh* I forgot how good it feel to have clean hair!
Ok so what I did it few days earlier but I was being super careful washing my hair without let any water touch my tape covered incision and ear, I had to wash it cuz my hair was getting super slimy and sticky it was beyond disgusting so I had to do it today not in 3 days later!
Lol well I'm doing great today I started taking Tylenol and it worked, no more Vicodin for me! YAY!
Only experiencing very slight discomfort still, more like tightness, very slight stiff neck if I turn my neck too far and my jaw still dont open all the way and mild headache from stiffness thats all! Nothing too uncomfortable so im almost back to normal self!
The Activation day seem like LONGGGGGG time away from now ugh!
i"ve been trying to stick stuff to my head like refrigerator magnet, metal object and what not and NONE of them stick :-( I just want something to prove myself that I do actually have Implant in my head haha.
I thought being in hospital will hit me that I will have CI and it DIDN'T! So I still don't believe that I have CI and it haven't hit me YET!!! Ooh gosh, so apparently I'm extremely impatient for activation day so when i feel magnet stuck in my head and heard beep... That's when i WILL believe i have CI! ha ha
well I'll update again after Post-op to show off my incision WITHOUT tapes i wonder what he used hmm staples, stitches, glue? hmmm we will see in next post!

Finally an Update

Alright Im finally feeling well enough to come to computer and typed up an update on me.

Heres it goes.

Jan 14th, Monday:

I was sooo busy all day cleaning the house, bedroom, bathroom, washing all laundry, put dishes away, put on clean bed sheets, took care of my 2 fish tanks, packed an overnight bag, everything i needed to do before surgery finally all done then rested just relaxing on couch. then went to bed around 2 pm I was too excited to go sleep so that is why i went to bed so late lol.

Jan 15th, Tuesday:

Woke up at 5:30 am get dressed in lovely pink button-up shirt, black with white polka-dot sweater, maroon aeropostales sweatpant on then waited for jason my boyfriend to get up and then we left to go to hospital around 6:00 am and arrived at hospital at 6:45 got valet parking ooh fancy then went in did paperwork, waiting for couple while then went in pre-op room get IV, questioned about my medical history blah blah blah then finally wheeled to OR room so scary! all tools, bright light, machines, bunch of people scrubbed up and in gown and bunch of stuff on table making me super nervous then anesthesiologist gave me sedative the part i was dreading the most, it worked well calmed my nerves and made me sleepy..... BUT at very last few seconds i couldn't breath at all! i was gagging, gasping for air and then boom next thing i know im in recovery room, i couldn't keep my eyes open for next 3 hours then finally can stay awake when needed they moved me to different room so my boyfriend could come in to see me, my boyfriend told me as soon my name moved from OR room to recovery room on computer screen in waiting room the snowflake fell and then few seconds it started to snow and it was so beautiful i thought it was awesome because i wanted snow and i finally got it and i think its sign that its going to be successful!. I was VERY sleepy keep falling asleep then finally time for me to go home they sent me home early because i was doing so well. arrived home my boyfriend carried me upstairs to my bed and fell asleep! then i don't remember what happened after that haha

jan 16th, Wednesday:

Same things couldnt remember diddly squat i was high on painkiller and keep falling asleep and zoning out, ate pudding, soups and sleeping all day no real pain only very sore throat, stiff neck and super sleepy.

jan 17th, Thursday:

same thing zoning out dont remember much, except started to experience slight pain in where implant is:

got my appetite back around early afternoon i was starving and keep bugging my boyfriend for food haha

jan 18th, friday (today):

so much more alert, less stiff neck, felt sharp pain in implanted side and inside where eardrum is, ate alot of food took medicine, watched movie just relaxing, had good day today. pain's tolerable nothing too severe only discomfort and before the medicine kicked in i had sore jaw, fullness in ear, tender and sore to touch on my head where implant is. that's it. sore throat is almost completely gone today!

I also added few pictures as you can see enjoy them also its slightly gross but it still got tapes on so no big deal. also im not 100% sure but i think the blue marking on my head is where my implant is.

the doctor shaved more than they told me grrr but its not like too horrible though, oh well.

I will add more after post-op appointment to show my incision without tapes on and will add more after activation too to show off my sparkly brand new pink CI!

Finally!

I finally got time for my surgery its at 9 am BUT i have to be there at hospital at 7 am to do paperwork and routine things like going over my medical history blah blah blah then wheel to OR room at 9 am if everything work out perfectly :-) i'm going to stay at hospital overnight so i wont be able to update blog till i feel like i can get up and go to computer lol so hopefully wont be long i dont want keep you on suspense for too long :-P
Wish me luck!

Pre-Op Appt.

Well...
Today i went to Pre-Op all nervous and no appetite because my boyfriend told me there will be physical and blood test there and i hates blood test because I'm under 100 pound and one vial of blood makes me woozy haha.
But turned out I was all nervous for nothing! I didnt need blood or whatever test before the surgery! So I assume they will do that on the surgery day, My surgeon listened to my heart and heard my heart murmur today, usually doctor didn't hear it but today yup but he don't seem to be worried about it he just told me i need to get heart checked up and catch up with my cardiologist after I told him I didn't get any check up in long while (12 years lol). So everything looked good today and I'm good to go!

I'm little nervous about surgery but I'm sure once i entered the room and it hit me and become super nervous and maybe crying lol I don't know we will see!

Also I should be totally fine going under since there's like people with serious or fatal heart problem going under general anesthesia and wake up all fine and mine is just small murmur so its not big deal right?

Just hope sedative or part of anesthesia whatever triggered it work what it supposed to this time around and makes me calm down and relaxed a bit instead of the opposite effect and makes it worse! last time it was crazy my legs was so shaky and my heart rate was super fast at one point it reached 140 bpm! (beats per min) and set alarm off!

just hope things work out smoothly and going under with no problem just get calm, sleepy then passed out and wake up, NO freaking out shaking, set alarms off and causing scene in OR room!

so wish me luck!

Still haven't gotten my time for surgery day but they told me to call day before surgery day to get time and whatever I need to do there.

I'm kinda hoping it'll be in afternoon so i can sleep in to makes myself not hungry instead of in morning when I'm super starving, we will see!

Keep eyes on my Blog I'll update again night before surgery and after surgery whenever I'm up to type a blog about surgery day and then few more in between to tell how I'm feeling and pictures to put up too and update again on Feb 12th my activation day!!